It’s been about a month since Chrissy Teigen and John Legend shared photos of themselves in hospital after experiencing pregnancy loss – and now, Chrissy is ready to share her story.
The model, TV host and cookbook author has posted an open letter on Medium not only describing what she went through but also the outpouring of kindness she’s received from loved ones and strangers.
It’s this kindness that keeps her going every day.
And it’s this kindness she hopes we will all default to in our every day lives, because we never know who might need it most.
“I had no idea when I would be ready to write this,” she begins.
“I didn’t really know how I would start this no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you. For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes.”
Letters and notes and flowers from people who know her and John – such simple acts of kindness that are making them feel loved, and perhaps even understood.
But it’s also the messages from people they don’t know that have had a huge impact on Chrissy.
“Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, ‘you probably won’t read this, but…’. I can assure you, I did.”
Chrissy explains how she received notes about personal experiences of pregnancy loss, as well books and poems. And how she especially appreciated the letters that started with, “you don’t have to respond to this,” which she describes as a “true relief.”
She discusses how everything unfolded in hospital from the strangers next door who were celebrating new life while she bled heavily in adult diapers, to receiving an epidural so she could birth her 20 week old baby only to have to let him go.
“I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness. Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.”
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And to think that it was this same grief that also attracted messages of hate, negativity and judgement online.
Can you imagine? Can you imagine stomping on the heart of a grieving mother? No, neither, can I and yet it happened with full force when Chrissy and John went public with their loss.
“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like,” Chrissy writes in highlighted text.
“These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
She ends her letter by describing the gratitude she feels for her children, Miles and Luna, as well as the moments of kindness which “have been nothing short of beautiful.”
“I went to a store where the checkout lady quietly added flowers to my cart. Sometimes people will approach me with a note. The worst part is knowing there are so many women that won’t get these quiet moments of joy from strangers,” she writes.
“I beg you to please share your stories and to please be kind to those pouring their hearts out. Be kind in general, as some won’t pour them out at all.”
It is kindness that is helping Chrissy through each day.
And it is kindness that she asks her millions of followers to show one another. Because we don’t know who else may be grieving their baby. Or experiencing complete and utter sadness. Or may need it, just because.
You can read Chrissy’s full letter HERE.
(Feature Image Credit: Featureflash Photo Agency/Shutterstock.com)