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Frances Bean Cobain at a press event with pink hair.

Frances Bean Cobain Reflects on 30 Years Without Dad, Kurt Cobain

Frances Bean Cobain is honouring her late dad, Kurt Cobain, and all those who are grieving the loss of a loved one.

The Nirvana frontman passed away on April 5, 1994 marking 30 years since his death. In a post on Instagram, Frances shared some throwback photos of her as a child being held by Kurt, along with a moving message:

“30 years ago my dad’s life ended. The 2nd and 3rd photo capture the last time we were together while he was still alive. His mom Wendy would often press my hands to her cheeks and say, with a lulling sadness, ‘you have his hands’. She would breathe them in as if it were her only chance to hold him just a little bit closer, frozen in time. I hope she’s holding his hands wherever they are.”

Frances, who was almost two years old when she lost her dad, continued, “In the last 30 years, my ideas around loss have been in a continuous state of metamorphosing. The biggest lesson learned through grieving for almost as long as I’ve been conscious, is that it serves a purpose. The duality of life & death, pain & joy, yin & yang, need to exist alongside each other or none of this would have any meaning. It is the impermanent nature of human existence which throws us into the depths of our most authentic lives. As it turns out, there is no greater motivation for leaning into loving awareness than knowing everything ends.”

 

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In her message, Frances explained how much she wishes she could’ve known her dad.

“I wish I knew the cadence of his voice, how he liked his coffee or the way it felt to be tucked in after a bedtime story. I always wondered if he would’ve caught tadpoles with me during the muggy Washington summers, or if he smelled of Camel Lights & strawberry Nesquik (his favourites, I’ve been told). But there is also deep wisdom being on an expedited path to understanding how precious life is. He gifted me a lesson in death that can only come through the LIVED experience of losing someone. It’s the gift of knowing for certain, when we love ourselves and those around us with compassion, with openness, with grace, the more meaningful our time here inherently becomes.”

She also included a quote from a letter Kurt wrote to her before she was born in August, 1992:

“The last line of it reads, ‘Wherever you go or wherever I go, I will always be with you.’ He kept this promise because he is present in so many ways. Whether it’s by hearing a song or through the hands we share, in those moments, I get to spend a little time with my dad and he feels transcendent.”

Frances, now an artist, photographer and writer, ended her message, “To anyone who has wondered what it would’ve looked like to live alongside the people they have lost, I’m holding you in my thoughts today. The meaning of our grief is the same.”

(Feature Image Credit: DFree/Shutterstock.com)

Nehal is an award-winning news presenter, author of "A Kids Book About Kindness Online" and founder of CelebrityKind. She has dedicated her career to creating connected and healthy spaces in the media. When she's not writing, you'll find Nehal hanging with family, dancing to Beyoncé, interpreting Taylor Swift lyrics or watching old eps of Oprah.